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He nods. “Never a dull moment with the Fasthorse boys.”

  The second dinner is finished, I head to the kitchen with Molly to help her dish out dessert, which she insists we enjoy on the wraparound front porch because the sooner she gets the boys outside, the sooner she can salvage what’s left of her sanity.

  Minutes later, I’m rocking in a chair between River and Molly, watching the sunset as the four boys chase fireflies in the yard while the dog chases them.

  River watches the scene play out before us, sitting still in his rocker, his expression subtly pained and his quietude suggesting his mind is somewhere else completely. I wonder what he’s thinking about … or who. I imagine maybe he’s trying to picture his children running around out here alongside the Fasthorse kids, chasing fireflies and filling the quiet countryside with the sound of carefree giggles.

  “You okay?” I whisper, leaning close to him.

  His eyes adjust as he turns to me, sitting up and checking his watch. “Yeah. We should get going. Movie starts in a half hour.”

  “You two going to the drive-in tonight?” Guy asks.

  “We are. I’m making him see that new Ryan Gosling movie.” I can’t help but boast, but I hope I’m not embarrassing him.

  Being a man of few words, River thanks the Fasthorses for dinner, waves to the boys, and then heads to the truck.

  Giving Molly a hug, I tell her I’ll see her in a couple days.

  “It was nice finally meeting you,” I say to Guy as he walks me to River’s truck.

  “Likewise,” he says. His pace slows, and I get the feeling he wants to say something. He peers over at River before looking down at me. “I just wanted to thank you, Leighton, while I had the chance.”

  “Thank me?”

  “There’s a little bit of life in River’s eyes lately,” he says. “And it hasn’t been there in years.”

  “You’re giving me too much credit.”

  “Believe me. It’s you. It’s all you. Even if he doesn’t know it yet.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  River

  “I didn’t realize it was going to be so cold tonight.” Leighton messes with the heat in my truck as I tune the radio so we can hear the previews. We’re watching from the cab tonight, opting not to brave the sudden cold front drifting through eastern South Dakota.

  A wool blanket from the back of the truck covers her lap and she rests her head against the window, watching intently as the opening credits scroll across the screen.

  “Grant never would’ve seen this movie with me,” she says. “Never in a million years. I’d have had to bribe him with sexual favors.”

  I say nothing.

  “I don’t know why I told you that.” She fusses with her hair, gathering it in her hand and draping it over one shoulder. “I’m the queen of TMI sometimes. I forget not everyone wants to know all the dirty details.”

  “He sounds like a prick.”

  “Yeah. And then some.” She sits up straight, waving her hand at me. “Okay, it’s starting.”

  When the film opens, Ryan Gosling is strolling down the streets of New York on Valentine’s day, looking forlorn as he notices all the happy couples around him.

  I’m bored, but I force myself to pay attention.

  A pretty girl in a floral dress trips on a crack in the sidewalk, stumbling into him. Their eyes meet and suddenly the scene is painted a little brighter.

  Yawning a half hour later, I glance over at Leighton, expecting to see her eating this up, only her eyes are closed.

  “Leighton?” I whisper.

  She doesn’t stir.

  “You sleeping?” I ask.

  Leighton doesn’t move, doesn’t blink, doesn’t come to, and I spot the blanket that was once covering her lap now lying on the floor. Her head nods, pressing against her window and holding her neck at a painful angle. There’s no real way to get comfortable in this truck without waking up with a horrible kink in your neck or a pinched nerve. Believe me, I speak from experience.

  Watching her sleep, I debate whether or not to intervene before finally reaching for her and pulling her across the bench seat. Placing her head on my shoulder and covering her lap with her blanket, I slip my arm around her to keep her comfortable and then I watch her damn movie.

  Leighton breathes softly, not rustling once. She must have needed the sleep.

  I turn my attention back toward the giant screen, watching as the girl in the movie tries to pretend she isn’t attracted to Ryan and Ryan tries to pretend he isn’t falling head over heels into love-at-first-sight.

  This isn’t a movie I’d watch by choice in a million years, but if it means letting Leighton get a little shut eye, I guess I can sit through it a bit longer.

  Besides, it’s been a long time since I’ve had my arm around anyone.

  I’d almost forgotten how good it feels to hold someone again.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Leighton

  “I’m so sorry.” I apologize to River for the millionth time tonight as we stand at the top of the stairs at the farmhouse. I woke up in a pile of my own drool, my cheek pressed against his shoulder, just as the end credits were filling the screen. “You should’ve woken me up.”

  “It’s fine.”

  He even summarized the entire plot for me—at my request.

  “It won’t happen again,” I say. “I must’ve been too relaxed or something. Full belly, warm truck, good company …”

  He peers at me, almost like he’s examining his thoughts, and his eyes land on my mouth for a sliver of time long enough to be noticeable.

  His broad shoulders fill his plaid shirt, and his wide, comfortable stance tells me he’s in no hurry to go anywhere. If he weren’t standing a few feet away right now, our proximity would make the temptation of kissing him that much harder to resist.

  “You can pick the next thing we do,” I say. “And I promise I won’t fall asleep.”

  He pulls in a long breath, giving my proposal some thought. “You like to fish?”

  “I haven’t fished in years.”

  “Let’s go fishing tomorrow night, after dinner,” he says.

  “All right.” I smile, stepping back to the opposite end of the hall toward my room. “Sounds like fun.”

  As soon as I reach my door, I twist the knob before glancing back at him. He’s studying me with a curious glint in his eyes, and I’d give a million pennies for his thoughts, but I know they’re none of my business and he wouldn’t hesitate to make that fact as clear as day.

  “I had a good time with you tonight,” I say, feeling the need to let it be known. The man may not smile and may not say more than a handful of words at any given time, but his stillness is grounding, his quiet companionship therapeutic.

  And I’m glad to know him.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  River

  “We’re friends now, aren’t we?” Leighton asks, sitting cross-legged on a wool blanket at the end of a dock.

  The sky’s full of stars tonight, and the sound of bull frogs and crickets drown out the faint country music playing from my truck several yards back. There’s so much to look at here, so much to take in.

  But all I see is her.

  “I suppose,” I say, baiting her line.

  “You suppose?” she punches my arm. “We’re friends. You can’t deny it. We’re always together.”

  “Proximity doesn’t make a friendship.”

  “We share meals.”

  “For convenience,” I say.

  “We do everything together,” she says. “And I tell you everything.”

  “I guess if that’s your definition of friendship …”

  I hand her a rod and watch her cast off before placing it in a rod holder affixed to the dock. Returning to the blanket, she lies on her back, slipping her hands under her head and counting the stars. I don’t think she has any interest in fishing … I think she simply wanted to spend time with me.

  Cracking a beer from the
cooler, I take a drink and keep an eye on her rod, listening for the bells to signal we’ve got a bite.

  “Lie down with me,” she says.

  “Got to keep an eye on this.”

  “River.” Her voice is harder this time, more insistent. “Please? The sky is so pretty right now. You need to stop and take it all in.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “Then you’ll miss out.”

  “On what? I can see this any night of the week.”

  “You’ll miss out on this moment,” she says. “With me—your friend. As soon as it’s gone, it’s gone. And someday you might look back on this and wish you’d have taken the time to lie down next to me.”

  I exhale.

  Leighton sits up, leaning on her elbows. “It’s not going to kill you.”

  Taking the spot beside her, I rest the back of my head on my hands and stare up at an endless black sky and a vision of stars. Years ago, I’d have thought it was a beautiful sight. Now it just reminds me of how small and insignificant we all are in this world.

  “I wish you could’ve met my dad.” Leighton muses. “I wish more people could’ve known him. He was only in his thirties when he died.” I feel her look toward me. “He was the nicest person in the whole world. He’d do anything for anyone and he never expected a single thing in return. Kind of like you.” She sighs, turning her attention skyward again. “Anyway, being out here and looking at the sky makes me think of him, wondering what he’s doing right now and if he’s thinking of me too.”

  I know the feeling.

  “He brought out the best in everyone,” she says. “Especially my mother. She wasn’t herself unless he was around. After he died, she was never the same. When we moved in with my grandma, I had to step up. I was fifteen, taking care of my little brother and sister.” Her voice trails. “Mom loved to drink. That’s how she dealt with the loss. After we lost Dad, she said it felt like someone had ripped her heart clean out of her without any warning, and drinking was the only way to fill up that empty spot so full she didn’t notice it was missing anymore.”

  “That sounds about right.”

  “Anyway, my brother and sister grew up resenting me. I was the one making sure they did their homework and went to bed at a good time,” she says. “My grandma tried, but they never listened to her. And my mom was never coherent enough to do anything about it. For the longest time, my sister hated me. We’re okay now. But my brother doesn’t really have much to do with any of us. Not sure why. I guess dysfunction affects everyone differently.” She turns to me. “Are you close with your parents?”

  I shake my head. “I never knew my parents. Seth’s family adopted me out of foster care when I was thirteen, though I suspect they were mostly looking for free labor on the farm.”

  “That’s terrible.”

  “It is what it is.”

  “Do you speak to them now?” she asks.

  “They passed a couple years ago.”

  “I’m sorry,” she says, placing her hand on mine.

  I shake my head. “I’m not. You think Seth turned out the way he was by accident?”

  Leighton says nothing, and maybe she thinks I’m coldhearted and unappreciative, but she didn’t grow up with the McCrays.

  “Seth was threatened by me,” I say. “He did everything in his power to ensure his parents saw him as the golden child. By the time they died, we weren’t exactly on speaking terms. He had them convinced I was some kind of dangerous monster. They were fucking afraid of me.”

  “My god.”

  “They left everything to him,” I say. “But I didn’t care. I didn’t need their money anyway. That’s how he bought the bar. And his house. And the fleet of vehicles that are clearly his way of compensating for … something.”

  Leighton laughs, rolling to her stomach and propping her chin on her hand. “This is the most I’ve ever heard you talk. I like it.”

  Leaning on my side, I meet her star-struck gaze. “Let’s not make it a big deal.”

  “But it is a big deal. You’re opening up to me,” she says. “When was the last time you opened up to anyone?”

  I shake my head. “A while ago.”

  “You make me feel like an open book,” she says, looking at me with stars in her eyes and exhaling slowly, like we’ve got all the time in the world. “I feel like I can tell you anything and you won’t judge me.”

  “I’ve never been keen on judging others.”

  “You’re a good man, River.” Her mouth pulls into a close-lipped smile. “And I love your heart.”

  Warmth spreads over me as I let her words sink in.

  Allison used to say those very words to me, back when we first met.

  I love your heart…

  Until I met Allison, I always thought I was unlovable. I never believed there was anyone out there for me or that I deserved anyone. Growing up with Seth as an older brother didn’t exactly set me up for success, and I did some things I’d never forgive myself for.

  And then I met Ally.

  She convinced me I had a heart worth loving, and the day I vowed to spend the rest of my life with her was one of the best days of my life.

  Allison made me forget how unworthy I was. She made me forget the fact that nobody wanted me and nobody cared … because she wanted me. She cared.

  “I really like spending time with you,” Leighton says. “And for the record, I do consider you a friend. Even if you don’t feel the same.”

  My mouth tugs up at one side, and I force a tight laugh through my nose.

  “Did you … did you just laugh?” Leighton points.

  “No.”

  “Yes, you did.” Her pretty mouth is pulled ear to ear. “I think we’re making a breakthrough here. You’re talking … laughing … actively participating in this crazy little thing called life …”

  “Why don’t you go back to counting stars or whatever the hell you were doing before.”

  “Because you’re much more fascinating than all the stars in the sky,” she says, reaching her hand toward my face and tickling her fingertips around my ear. Her smile fades and our eyes meet. “I could kiss you right now if I thought you could handle it.”

  Her tongue drags along her bottom lip and her hand pulls away from my face. There’s a moment to be seized, an opportunity to capture, and it’s slipping away before my very eyes.

  Reaching for Leighton, I pull her over top of me, cupping her pretty face in my hands. Her jaw falls before morphing into an amused chuckle, and she presses her palms along my chest.

  “What’s this?” she asks.

  I sit up, keeping her legs straddled around my hips, and I bring my mouth to hers, soft and slow, gentle and unhurried.

  She tastes like spearmint and smells like a dream. Her skin is cashmere beneath my fingertips, her hair pure silk.

  My heart gallops in my chest, a glaring reminder that I’m still here. I’m not dead … yet. And I’ve still got a life to live.

  Leighton’s body melts against mine, her hips grinding as I kiss her soft lips and graze my tongue against hers.

  “You’re not going to stop this time, are you?” she asks, breathless, her fingertips caressing the nape of my neck.

  “Never.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Leighton

  River’s hands grip my ass as he carries me down the dock and back to his truck. Country music croons softly from his speakers as my legs slide down his sides and he presses me against the lowered tailgate, bringing his mouth against mine again.

  There’s something special in the way he kisses me, something that makes time stand still and the past nonexistent.

  His hand cups my jaw, and his tongue glides between my lips, sending a flutter to my chest that could easily bring me to my knees.

  River lifts me, placing me on the tailgate and standing between my legs. His hands tug at the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head with impatient intention. When his fingers work to remove my bra, I kn
ow this is happening.

  He’s not going to stop.

  There’s no turning back.

  This is real.

  And I’m going to enjoy every intoxicating second of it.

  A thrill runs through me as I reach for his belt, my hands grazing the outline of his hardness. Unfastening each button of his shirt, I can’t strip him down fast enough.

  I want all of him, and I want all of him now.

  River’s lips press against the hot flesh beneath my jaw, leaving a path of heated kisses that evaporate into the night air. My head relaxes, letting my hair cascade over my bare shoulders as the moonlight paints my skin.

  His arm scoops around my back, pulling me closer until I slide down, and a moment later, he’s lowered himself to his knees, sliding my jeans and panties to the ground.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he moans, pressing his tongue between my slick seam.

  The way he touches me, so tender, so careful, makes me love his heart even harder than before.

  Unzipping his fly, I take his cock in my hand, pumping his generous length until he falls forward, moaning against my ear.

  A moment later, he scoops me up in his arms, carrying me to his truck. As soon as we’re in, he pulls me into his lap, cupping his hand around my breast and bringing the nipple to his mouth. Sucking gently and flicking the pink bud with his tongue, he slides his hands down my backside before taking a handful and pulling me harder against him.

  His cock throbs against my pussy, and when my hips grind against him, his breathing grows ragged.

  “I want this …” I whisper, looking into his deep brown eyes and digging my nails into his broad shoulders. “I want you.”

  River buries his head against my chest for a moment, my heart beating wildly, and then he wraps his arms around me. Draping my arms over his shoulders, I kiss his neck, moving to his ear and the side of his face and then his lips again.

  My hips buck against his, teasing and tempting, wordlessly telling him I’m his for the taking.